Order has been restored for the second year in a row, reminding the world how weak and sorry that program down south is. For the 60th time in their storied 125-year history, the Michigan Wolverines have mercilessly beaten the whimpering buckeyes as they go 60-51-6 all-time against their meager rival.

The Wolverines whomped ohio 45-23, (that’s a difference of 22 points for all the ohio fans who can’t perform simple mental math), hanging the third most points on ohio in series history (86 points and 58 were the top two). Earlier this year, ohio coach ryan day told the media with a straight face “we’re going to hang 100 on Michigan”. Good one, day. Guess you’re going to need another 365 days to try to scrap together some talent for your deteriorating ‘football team’.

In fact, the buckos prepared all year round to do one thing–play undisciplined football. They committed 9 total penalties Saturday for a whopping total of 91 YARDS. I’m sorry, but if you’re prepping all year for one game, shouldn’t you figure out how to play the game the right way? To no one’s surprise, the buckeyes turned to truculence (that means aggressiveness, ohio fans, sorry for the big boy words) when things didn’t go their way. They committed two unsportsmanlike conduct penalties on Saturday, showcasing their inability to keep their composure in the face of adversity and superiority.

But fret not ohio fans! There are some positives you can take away from this embarrassing showing–you stopped the run…for a half! With Michigan’s star (Heisman) running back Blake Corum sidelined with a knee injury and their second string back Donovan Edwards banged up with a hand injury, it should have been an easy task for the little boys on ohio’s D-line to stop this run attack. Not quite. While they held Michigan’s backfield in the first half, it came with a high price–JJ McCarthy to Cornelius Johnson TWICE for 50+ yards, BOTH house calls. In the second half, Donovan Edwards ran for over 200 yards, punching in two 60+ yard touchdown runs to put away the miserable buckeyes. Good thing ohio prepared for that run game!

Let’s take a gander at each team’s updated team ratings. Smooth cruising for Michigan, big drop for Ohio. Embarrassing.

Uh-oh! Looks like ohio has fallen out of the top 4 in my SAM rankings! Michigan was snubbed by the model at #2, but we can live with that.

And remember all that talk about cj stroud being a Heisman QB? HA! Stroud threw TWO (2) interceptions against Michigan’s stout defense and only managed to put up 3 measly points in the entire second half. Some player, huh? Take a look at the ‘comparison’ (EPA/play) between McCarthy and stroud. JJ threw for 3 TDs and ran for a 4th as he slung the rock for 263 total yards against ohio’s slow, overpowered secondary. Michigan is now 2-0 against stroud, and 2-1 against ryan day–guess they’re not the prodigies they were thought to be!

The numbers speak for themselves. So do the pictures. Let’s indulge.

The DON breaks free
Can't stop Cornelius
ohio can’t stop Cornelius Johnson (or the run)
Little boy stroud's first INT
poor little boy stroud’s first interception
Nice try, bud
Nice tackle bud! HOUSE CALL
Nice try again!
Spoiler…this was another HOUSE CALL
Awwww poor little boy stroud getting hit again. Tummy still hurt?
Sad little stroud defeated yet again
Flag PLANT!!! The Shoe is Michigan territory now
Flag plant! The shoe is Michigan territory!

Michigan OWNS ohio state, forever and always. Make sure to let your buckeye acquaintances know who is boss, and GO BLUE.